The feeling of the outside

Even though no one wanted this to happen
But I'm missing out all the fun
Every cell should be leaving from different houses now
After a very nice Chinese New Year dinner with their cell mates
Whilst I'm at home typing this blog post
And beforehand I was indulging in games
Well, can't complain much
Birthday celebrations, and the love received by cell leaders
I want to be part of all these
But I'm cooped up in these four walls
Slowly thinking, having imagination
Just received news about the fun Sophia had
Tau-pok, pillow fights, and filming
Sigh, I wonder what is Kairos up to now
Only news that I have received is that they're watching funny videos
And I can watch them alone in my house
Sigh... Hope next time I don't miss out all these fun.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
All about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you,
All about you Jesus.

I have no rights to feel hurt now
But when I reminisce about what happened
Everything just flows like a river
Like a movie in my head
Everything, clear and vivid
Each time I think about it
It just makes me feel worse
Every second thinking about those times
Is just like a blade that cuts right through me
Though you're feeling hurt inside
But in me, I am feeling just as hurt and bad as well
But I constantly remind myself
Who is the one that is by my side
Who is the one that really cares for me
Who is the one that is there when everyone else is gone
Who is the one that will never leave me
Who is the one that will always wait for me
Unfortunately, this is just a vicious cycle

You've shown me life
You've opened my eyes
To the truth that there's no greater love
I love your understanding.

Reminiscence

Thinking back about the past
How things actually changed
So much, so fast
No matter how much we've been through
Sometimes I still feel bad
When you sit there and the expression on your face doesn't change
When I tried my best but I can't make you feel better
Perhaps my best is not good enough?
But no matter what happens
I know that in the end
All will be fine again
I will miss you

Get well soon, Justin

Don't worry too much okay?

As the deer panteth for the water,
So my soul longeth after thee
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship you.

You alone are my strength, my shield.
To you alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship you.

You're my friend, and You are my brother
Even though You are a King.
and I love You more than any other
So much more than anything.


i miss you

Dark days become sunny
Frigid days become warm,
Rainy days become cloudless
And lightning got wiped away from the storm.

Oceans sing,
Rocks cry out,
Mountains roar,
And tree branches shout.

The stars fall
Right out of the sky.
The moon winks
And the sun went dry.

All because you said one thing
All because you said it true
All because you made me smile
All because you made it through
All because you said I love you.

Chinese New Year

Not the same as the previous years
Not because of the sore throat
Something seems to be missing
Even though for the past 15 years of Chinese New Year
There wasn't anything missing at all
But it is only this year that I feel a sense of emptiness within me
I miss you

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're what I want, my love, my Valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And shown me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart until the end of time
You're what I want, my love, my Valentine

Excellent atmosphere

An absolute wow
The atmosphere
I could feel it even if I was upfront
Everyone was worshipping
No one was left out
We even brought the non-believers into an attitude of worship
How amazing can that be
Continue to pour Your blessings upon us
Thank You

Sunset

Off an island
Where beautiful landscapes lie
The sun slowly sets
And the colours change
Extraordinary feeling
Just too awesome for words
Savoured every moment
And I will never regret
Thank You, Lord

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
And who told the ocean you can only come this far?
And who showed the moon where to hide till evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives

The very same God
That spins things in orbit
Runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know, my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I know
My Redeemer

He lives
To take away my shame
And He lives
Forever I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sins
Was the precious life He gave
And now He's alive and
There's an empty grave.

Testimonies

Three more days before I lead people into the presence of the Lord
Three more days before I share some testimonies that I have

Thank You Lord, I can never thank you enough
You've guided me through this whole week
Awesome is the Lord most high
For with God nothing will be impossible
You've taken away anger that lived in my heart
You've taken away hatred that overwhelmed my heart
You've taken away discord that filled my heart
And my heart now belongs to You
Fill it with Your love
So much until it could just overflow into others
How much I pray that the very ones that are in this household
Will be saved someday
The vision that you give me, by faith I shall follow it
Continue to guide me Lord as You use me
Thank You Lord for opening the heart of Jing Han
Continue to open his heart more Lord so he may just feel your Love
Let him be touched by You O' Heavenly Father
The vision that You gave me
He will lift his hands in worship to the Lord
He will read the Word of God
He will lead more people into the Kingdom of God
In my Saviour, my Comfort, my Shelter and my Jesus's name
Amen

My Jesus, My Savior,
Lord, there is none like You;
All of my days
I want to praise
the wonders of Your mighty love.

My comfort, my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength;
let every breath, all that I am
never cease to worship You.

Shout to the Lord, all the earth,
let us sing
power and majesty, praise to the King;
mountains bow down and the seas will roar
at the sound of Your name.
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands,
forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand,
nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

Starry skies

Absolutely beautiful
Each time I lift my head up
I just feel like thanking God
The splendid creation of stars
Captivates my eyes
We were there
Staring into the sky
This is my first time seeing so many stars
Feels like a fantasy
However I'm reminded by the fact that
What is it Heaven will be greater
Looking up into the sky together is sure wonderful
The calm in our hearts
The peace in our souls
The serenity in our minds
All the joyous feelings
And I'm waiting for the next time...

Peace in the midst of 'persecution'

Thank You Lord
You've seen me through my darkest times
When I asked and knocked
You were there to answer
Lord You are always good
Guiding me and answering me
When I call, You're always there
But sometimes when You call, I won't be there
Lord please help me to answer your calls
With all my heart Lord I am here to serve You
Take away my thoughts of procrastination
Take away my thoughts of being reluctant
Help me that when You call
I will be there instantaneously
In Jesus's name, amen

What I'm doing, is it worth?
What I'm doing, does she notice?
How much I care, does she realise?
How much I'm going through, does she care?
How much I love her, does she feel it?

I've tried, tried my best
But she just doesn't seem to appreciate what I've done
I've done, done my best
But my best just doesn't seem to be good enough for her
Apology, my most frequently used tool
But she just doesn't seem to accept it

What I'm doing, is it worth?
What I'm doing, is it real?
What I'm doing, is it love?
It's not up to me to decide
The answer is just in her heart...

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter
But you feel so far away
And I can't lie
But everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

Cause I just can't take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait forever...

You look so beautiful today
It's like everytime I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man, I wish that I could stay
And I can't lie, but everytime I leave my heart turns grey
And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...

I know it feels like forever
I guess thats just a price I've gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better
'Til that day there's nothing else I can do

Physically hurt

The text on the screen looks fine
But the fingers that are doing the job ain't
Four clear cuts on the joints
And a sprained/fractured/broken/crushed knuckle
Great, I can't use the guitar for worship now
2nd for inter-class soccer
5th for inter-class rugby
As compared to last year
3rd for inter-class soccer
2nd for inter-class rugby
Oh dear what happened to rugby?
Somehow, I just get the feeling it was over confidence
Well this is the last year
At least we all had fun
Whether we participated or not

Oh Lord, I need your power
I need Your healing
I need Your anointing
I need Your guidance
I need You to lead the way
School's starting already but I'm feeling so weary
I need Your strength to pull through this
You've put me in a school not for no reason
I am called to be a student
And I shall do what you have commanded me to
I pray that my finger (left index) will get well soon
May I continue to serve you
Even when I pick up my guitar at home
Even when I pick up my cross daily and follow you Lord
I pray your presence is always with me
And that You'd be there to show the way
I pray this in my Saviour's name, Jesus Christ
Amen

All authority, every victory is Yours

You were full with exclamation marks
All of a sudden you couldn't wait at all
Neither could I
I sat there waiting
10 minutes passed
Attempting on my homework
20 minutes passed
Started on my quiet time
30 minutes passed
Finished what I could do there
40 minutes passed
Waiting in vain
50 minutes passed
There you were walking out
Unable to contain the emotions within you
Almost like you wanted to embrace me in your arms
Out of the area, we went
Sharing about times we had in school
Fun, yes, more fun
Only to find out that time was not on our side
Stomachs were rumbling
Without any choice, food was in our mind
Devouring and discussing
On how alike we are
Its amazing how a CD shop can provide entertainment
Even without the movie, it is all right
It is like a jigsaw puzzle piece
That fits into the 'Entertain Me' section
Pig stomach, almond, ice
Yummy combination

Tears just streamed down my cheeks
Touched by text on the screen
Words that mean so much to me
Thank you

Motivation

I am motivated
I am inspired
And it is out of own will
That I will strive on to perform better
To practise more everyday
And also not to stray away from my pilgrimage
Arrogance shall not consume me
With determination, I will strive

The wait that is worth

It is an inner feeling
50 minutes of waiting
Only for that 15 minutes (or less) of enjoyment
However, I'm sure it is worth
Every second counts, meaningful

Time to start training

Paper balls

Fun lies in school
Where everyone have paper ball fights
Throwing paper balls at each other
Sometimes even out of the window
I think, my best day in school so far this year

Direction

We're currently like North and South
We're attracted to each other
But so far apart we are
Just like the North and South pole

It really hurts me to see you like this
Have you known how much it hurts?
Have you known how does it affects me?
You don't know where I am coming from
You really don't know
All my concern and care
And seeing at where you are heading
It feels like I am pierce through the heart
With a ten foot long spear
And it was hard to get over with
I'm just feeling worse and worse everyday
Not even once would you come with me?
I guess time will take it course
Hopefully and by faith, slowly but surely.

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You.

Chances

Chances are that someone better will come along the way
Chances are that we'd feel different to each other
Chances are that we won't even be friends
Chances are that we may still be together when time comes

Chances are opportunities
I'll never give up on it
Where there is hope, there will be a way for us
And I strongly believe that if we endure, tolerate, persevere
In time to come, we'd see the light at the end of the tunnel
And we'd rejoice together, laughing our hearts out

I know I shouldn't be waiting
I know I shouldn't be contemplating about this
I know I shouldn't be concerned about you too much
But for one thing, that
I know I can't bring myself to let go of you.

No one ever taught you not to lie?
No one ever taught you not to spread rumours?
No one ever taught you to respect others?
I guess the answer is yes.

Sensitivity

First day of school
When I entered, it felt like the last day of school was just yesterday
Everyone had no change
Not so visible, so to speak
Teachers had no change as well
Except for some changes of teachers
With homework starting to pile at the first day of school
Will I be able to pull through everything?
Since school has started, I better start planning
Or it will start to get harder to balance my life

I look at you with concern in my eyes
But you refused
I offered my help to you
But you refused
I asked what was wrong
But you refused
5 years down the road
Will you refuse me?
10 years down the road
Will you refuse me?

Happy New Year

A very nice start for the new year
Plenty of worries and thoughts
When will this end?
Am I going to have more and more troubles?
It feels like it is a snowball effect
Sigh... I know it is through God's strength that I can pull through

For with God, nothing will be impossible - Luke 1:37